SRR – Round Table Discussion – After Care

round table blank graphic

 

This is a great topic, and I’m so glad Renee Rose brought this up.  Thanks to Renee and Spanking Romance for hosting. :)

Aftercare is very important to me, as a reader an author, and as a DD’er.

It’s very important, sometimes even more crucial than the punishment itself – at least for me, anyway.

I am a sensitive (ok, hyper sensitive and over emotional) woman. I internalize every look, every comment, every action. I am a people pleaser, and the thought of displeasing someone, especially my HOH, hurts me greatly. (I should have also mentioned over-reactor in my list of attributes ).

 

Aftercare, is a necessary transition from the punishment to the closure that I need with my husband.

When he punishes me (usually in the form of a strict spanking), I know it is different than a sexy or fun spanking because of my guilt or my hurt over his displeasure. There is nothing sexy or fun about the punishment.

It hurts.

My bottom aches.

My heart aches.

 

But when it’s all over, he covers me with his body, like a warm blanket.

He holds me until I stop shivering and shaking.

His warmth envelopes me, and makes me feel loved.

I feel his forgiveness as it seeps into me, and I am finally able to release the guilt and forgive myself.

 

Now here is where it gets tricky. Do you know when I start crying?

During the aftercare.

I don’t usually cry during a punishment, no matter how upset I am; no matter how agonizing the belt feels lashing onto my poor backside; no matter how awful the strike of the Lexan.

I have had shaking, hiccupping sessions, where I have cried without tears. But have not very often cried real tears.

The care he gives me, when he spoons against me, or holds me against his chest after an over the bed spanking; when he is soothing me with his presence, with his warmth, and his love- that is when I finally break down the last piece of resistance.

Then I cry. I release all the tension, the guilt, everything. And I know I am loved.

 

This is what aftercare does for me in my real life.

It is crucial to my emotional well being.

And I am blessed that he gives me this care after each and every session.

LOL, I’m not even sure if I answered any of the questions, but this is where my heart led me on this topic, so I went with it. :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Have fun visiting the other bloggers and authors who have joined in the hop, and please join in the discussion by replying below. I love chatting! :)

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Author Share – Series Intro

Phew! This has been a roller coaster month for me.

Besides normal life activities, I did the following:

 

  • I published my first book (with my good friends Renee Rose and Casey McKay).
  • I did a few blog hops.
  • Made some book trailers.
  • Played in the snow (that’s a once every two or three year thing for us, here)!
  • Started spring cleaning (and promptly got distracted) Alas, my sewing room is still in shambles
  • Started the long process of editing a story I wrote over a year ago
  • Outlined two new stories…

 

And then I shut down. Seriously, my brain and body just went into overdrive, and I shut completely down!

I found myself missing blog posts, forgetting to review books I had read, missed replies on fb, and completely screwed up the whole “Twitter” thing…

I had not been juggling the different responsibilities between home life and author life well, and it frustrated and overwhelmed me.

 

I am happy to announce I have gone back into planning mode and now have…

A Game Plan!

game plan x and os

 

Woohoo!

I feel so much better when I am organized.

LOL, I’m not there yet, but I have taken the first steps.

I have started talking with other authors about how they make it all work.

I’ve made a spreadsheet (I love Excel!) of goals and potential posts.

I have started reading books like:

 

Marketing Matters”, by Cassandra Carr

How to Blog a Book”, by Nina Amir

And

Book Marketing… in a Nutshell”, by Shelia Clover English

 

Knowledge is Power

 

 

The biggest thing I have gotten out of all of this, is that I need to be consistent and more active publically.

I want to be more consistent with my blogging, as well as my social networking, and promoting, but honestly, have NO FREAKING idea how to do all this stuff!

LOL, I was silly enough to actually believe that all I had to do was write a book, and people would buy it. Then I would write another one. And more people would magically appear to buy it.

:)

Ok, maybe I had a tiny niggling that there was more to it than that. But I chose not to accept this reality.

Remember, fantasy (and escaping reality) is my forte.

La, la, la! I can’t hear you!

 

Well, I am going to consistently blog more, and am going to do something really cool!

Starting next week, I will be hosting a weekly series called,

 

Author Share black letters

(By the way, I made this image myself  at pixlr.com. Yeah, Me! I did something geeky! :) )

 

 

This will be a cool chance for me to ask the experienced authors and bloggers questions like:

 

Why is blogging so important, and how do I do it?

What’s involved with marketing my book?

What do all those colors mean in edits?

How the %$#^ do I tweet properly and get my message out without bombarding people with a gazillion tweets?

Where are the best places to promote?

How do I ask for reviews?

 

The list goes on…

I have a ton of questions as a new author.  :)

And I am so blessed to be a part of a community of experienced men and women who are willing to share their experiences and wisdom.

The first topic will be next Monday, April 21, and will be a general overview of “putting it all together”, and will include the talents of Cara Bristol, Patricia Green, and Renee Rose. Multi published authors of over 50 books between them – these amazing women do it all, and do it well!

 

I hope you like the new series, and will join me in the discussions. Feel free to ask your own questions or impart some of your own thoughts and suggestions. See you after Easter!

Group Interview at Natasha Knight’s Place

I’m over at Natasha Knight’s blog, with fellow Winter Storm authors, Casey McKay and Renee Rose!

Group interview!

Lots of fun!

Please stop by,

and come back tomorrow for an important announcement about my next blog series!

Happy Monday!

http://www.natasha-knight.com/2014/04/the-winter-storm-interview-with.html

 

The Alpha Man and His Dirty Wife

Hehe, I had to use the fun play on words for this one. Enjoy!

 

shovel in dirt

Ok, I know I complain (whine?) every once in a while about my husband not being empathetic enough to my emotions, not being “Spanko” enough, not appreciating Disney movies for their beauty and great story lines, and catchy lyrics and tunes. (I love kids’ movies. I happily admit it.)

Hubby doesn’t quite share my joyful exuberance when the evil step mother gets her just desserts, and the heroine wins (with or without a hero by her side); he doesn’t understand my need to cry when I emote, and he does not yet understand how to “stroke” me. (Hehe, not that kind of stroking.)

My ego and my emotions are very closely dependent on his affirmations.

For example, the other day, I greeted him at the door and proudly exclaimed (for the whole neighborhood to hear),

“Look honey, I vacuumed the welcome mat.”

(The really super awesomely mud caked mat outside our front door.)

He hugged me, took a quick look, and replied,

“I can’t tell.”

To be perfectly honest, the carpet still looked dirty, because of the clay and mud stains. But what he hadn’t seen was how dirty it was BEFORE I cleaned it.

 

Seriously, it hurt my feelings.  :(

He was supposed to gently stroke my ego, and tell me how proud he was of my efforts; and if he absolutely felt the need to give constructive criticism, it should have been something along the lines of,

Oh, my sweet girl. You make me so happy. I’m so proud of you. Would you like a nice back massage and spanking later? Oh, and by the way my dear little domestic engineer, did you miss a few spots, or was it just extra dirty, and I can’t tell? Either way, I love you and appreciate you. Now, how about that good girl spanking?”

:)

See, that would have been more in tune with my emotional needs at the time.

But no, I am married to a logical, intelligent, less emotive man who takes things at face value.

He’s my opposite.

LOL, it usually means I have a few hurt feelings, and he gets confused by my emotions.

 

But these past two weekends have been eye openers for me. Maybe I am married to the right man after all.

It all began with a little dirt…

Hubby decided to level the ground in our front yard. This means, he worked up a brilliant plan to dig out a bunch of dirt, place 4×4’s (or were they 4×6’s? I don’t know. They were big, long pieces of wood. J ), in the dirt, making a square around our tree, hammer them down into some sort of concrete dirt, and then fill everything back in with dirt and mulch.

He measured and cut, and dug, and used a cool little thing on a rope that told us how far off the levelling was, based on where the cute bubble landed. He even explained the whole engineering process to me.

Something about,

Bleh, bleh, back face… higher by 12 inches to accommodate the 2 inches in the front… bleh bleh, dig… bleh bleh… make it all even.”

I thought I was in a Charlie Brown show. Wah wah, wah

After ten minutes of him trying to explain the overall process to me, with me still not getting it, I finally told him where he was going wrong.

I am not a long term visualizer. I can’t just see things out of nothing. I am more of a recognizer than a re-caller, and I don’t understand mechanical or engineering terms.

Just put me to work. Tell me what to do – exactly how you want it done, and I will happily do it. But please don’t explain the process to me. I won’t get it until it is done,” I told him.

So he put me to work. I dug dirt, held the bubble measuring thingy, and told him when it was off; I hauled bags of mulch; I stained the wood.

I even got tools for him – after he specifically told me which ones.

FYI, the circular saw with the GREEN handle is much different than the round looking saw that is attached to a huge piece of heavy metal.

(Like I would have known that. Hehe. They were both round!)

 

It took us two long weekends. But we did it, and I actually enjoyed it.

I preferred to submit to his direction. Heaven knows what I would have done if left to my own devices.

The reason I am bringing all of this up, is because during our fun, dirty weekend together, I also got a chance to watch the neighbor’s husband do some yard work.

He complained the whole time, about wanting a condo, washed his hands every few minutes, and here’s the funniest part.

He squealed and backed away when I offered to show him the new worms and caterpillar his daughter had dug up while playing in the dirt with me and my daughters.

I thought it was hilarious when he almost turned green and bolted for his house.

But hubby swatted me on the booty, and quietly reminded me,

Not everyone enjoys the outdoors”.

“All husbands are different, but will attempt to give their wives what they want and need.”

 

I retorted,” I bet HE would tell me how clean the welcome mat looked.”

 

Hubby agreed, and also pointed out that neighbor hubby would probably hire someone to do the landscaping.

But I wanted to help,” I whined. “I like getting dirty! I like it when you tell me what to

Oh!

light bulb

This led me to my final realization.

I can’t always have it both ways.

I still need emotional affirmation and support. But if it comes down to a choice between

flowery words of empathy and love

Vs.

manual labor, getting dirty, and Alpha man taking charge

I’ll take the Alpha man.

Besides, I can still go to my girlfriends for emotional stroking.

Here’s the newly landscaped tree.

I helped!

yard work leveling, close-up

I’m at Emily Tilton’s Today!!

The beautiful and talented Emily Tilton, the woman who has literally made me swoon with her written words, has invited me for an interview at her place!

Stop on by and learn all about my biggest fantasies!

Here’s the link:

http://etiltonexplorations.blogspot.com/2014/04/a-fairytale-maker-extraordinaire.html

Happy spankings!

Promo post – Emmaline’s Groom by Casey McKay

Emmalines Groom

I am so excited!!

Casey McKay’s new historical spanking romance has just come out, and I cannot wait to read it!

She is here today to tell you a little bit about her new book! Enjoy!

 

 

Thanks for having me Katherine! I came to share a little bit of Emmaline’s Groom with you and your readers.

In this part, Leo has promised Emma a punishment for an earlier transgression. She knows it is coming, but she still puts up a fight.

 

 

  “I understand why you were angry and I will not blame you if you cannot forgive me,” she told him in a rush.

            “I can forgive you. I love you, Emmaline.” He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her so tenderly she felt tears return to her eyes. “Even if I have to take you over my knee every day to correct your behavior, I will never stop loving you.”

            She snatched her hand back from his and narrowed her eyes. Her tears were gone as she squared her shoulders to him. “That is not going to happen.”

            He chuckled at her response and she realized her was teasing her. He nudged her to her feet and she stood standing in front of him. He pointed to the strap on the floor.

            “Bring it over to me.”

            She crossed her arms across her chest. “Leo!”

            “You have consequences coming. Do not argue with me. I do not mind talking with you about your punishment, but you will not talk your way out of it, ever. Is that understood?”

She had the urge to stamp her feet. He was not going to give in and she knew it, but she did not have to like it. She did not answer his question, but turned and did as he asked. She placed the strap in his outstretched palm.

            “Take off your robe.”

            “No, I-” She shook her head and tried to step back out of his reach, but he grasped her wrist.

            “It was not a question,” he said as he tugged her closer and easily flipped her over his knee.

            The breath pushed out of her lungs as she found herself hanging upside down, Leo’s hands pushing her robe up her back, baring her backside to him for the second time that day. She jerked forward at his stinging slap and let out a yelp in surprise.

            “In the future, you will comply the first time I ask something of you.” He punctuated his sentence with another firm smack. She braced herself, placing her hands on the floor in front of her as he spanked her. The sting crept along both cheeks, leaving them feeling warm from the inside out. It was not a completely terrible feeling, and she was reminiscent of the first time he had spanked her and what that had led to.

            She felt her middle moisten in anticipation, she surrendered her body to his punishing blows, lifting her hips back to meet him. He paused and rubbed his hand over her stinging bottom, this is what she had missed that morning. He pulled her up and placed her on her feet in front of him again.

            “Now, take off your robe,” he said again.

 

Blurb:

Emmaline Lawford, the youngest daughter of an English Marquess, is intended to marry. Though to whom might be up for debate. Her older brother, Samuel, has his sights set on marrying her off to a Duke. Emmaline finally accepts her fate, until a breach in etiquette finds her back in the arms of the man she truly loves.

 

Leo Colston is stunned when Emmaline is thrust back into his life. He had resigned himself to the fact that he would never marry the woman he loved. Now they are taking hasty wedding vows and being urged to move to America, where they can leave the talk of scandal behind them.

 

Emma and Leo realize settling into marriage is not going to be as smooth sailing as they thought. As they try to work out their differences and get used to living in close quarters Emmaline finds herself in trouble with her new husband on more than one occasion. Leo’s favorite way to end an argument is to take his lady over his knee and spank her bare bottom until she submits. Emma thinks he should just give in to her womanly charms. Who will win this battle of wills?

 

Emmaline’s Groom is a stand alone book, but is also the first book in The Ravenswood Manor series.

 

This book includes spankings, graphic sex, and anal play, and more. If any of this subject matter offends you, please do not purchase this book.

 

Buy Links:

Amazon

Amazon UK