Spank A-Z Challenge, P: Phallic Statements and Pictures

spank A2Z

Welcome back for another fun day of alphabetical blog posting!

Today’s letter is “P”. I had my brain all geared up to talk about panties, thanks to some good friends.

But at the last second, my brain,( as it often does) turned to the silly side of things; Freudian slips, phallic statements in jokes and ย pictures.

What’s really interesting about it, is the fact that I often don’t catch myself doing it until someone has pointed it out to me. Then I get quite the laugh.

My new favorite activity I engage in with my husband is “That’s what she said” ing. LOL, he gets quite tickled by my attempts at being cheeky. And sometimes, they even make sense.

But I didn’t always use to be so on top of things.

 

I still have vivid memories of my fellow (most of my after college running friends were male at the time) runners trying to teach me how to spit properly.

They were quite tickled when I explained to them, that I was no good at spitting, so I just swallowed.

That one took a few minutes.ย  What?

(I liked this memory so much, I used it in my current WIP )

๐Ÿ™‚

I also created quite the uproar with my fellow military Officers.

One morning, they were all sitting around complaining about an Officer Candidate that had gotten fatigued from yelling and marching; and had subsequently, fallen out of formation.

I was quick to jump in for the poor kid.

“Ok guys, one time when I was at band camp..

(btw, I had not heard of ‘American Pie’, and could not figure out why everyone kept laughing at all my band camp memories. Yes, I had a lot of them ๐Ÿ™‚ )

I saw a girl fall out while playing her trumpet and marching. Yeah, she blew so hard, she passed out.”

(insert 8 big guys falling on the floor, laughing while tears run down their faces)

“Seriously, it really happened. She just wasn’t getting enough air.”

(Insert a few f-bombs and even more loud guffaws)

“It’s not funny!”

“Why are you laughing so hard?”

๐Ÿ™‚

Good Lord, hehe, if I knew half the things I know now…

Sorry, it’s part of what makes me, me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Naivety, speaking before thinking, and an innocent assumption that everyone around you is your friend. (A few dear friends used to call me Pollyanna because of this. I didn’t even mind too much : ) )

Now that I am 41 (wait, almost 42.), I am gaining a bit more maturity. I understand a lot more than I did fifteen years ago. But I still speak before I think.

And I still, for some reason, can make most everything into a silly or sexual statement- sometimes purposefully, sometimes not.

But at least now (with my age and wisdom ), I can tell what everyone is laughing about a lot quicker!

๐Ÿ™‚

*

My MC, Claire is an awful lot like this.ย  Here are a few of her “moments”.

(Partner Resistant Exercise. She is helping Nick stretch)

She couldnโ€™t quite reach him, so she placed her leg in-between both of his.

When he gave her an odd look, she said, โ€œI thought it would be easier if I straddled you. But youโ€™re kind of wide. Would you prefer me to come from behind?โ€

The women snickered, and Nickโ€™s eyebrows rose over his sunglasses.

*

โ€œWould you. Like to come in? I have some fresh spanked cookies. Baked! I meant baked cookies!โ€ She felt her face heat, but continued to jabber. โ€œI didnโ€™t mean spanked – not like I could use a wooden spoon on them,โ€ she laughed, โ€œBut I did use a wooden spoon, to stir them.โ€ God, could she be any more embarrassed? She closed her eyes and waited for the ground to swallow her up.

Nick took her chin into his palm and slowly raised her to meet his gaze. โ€œAre you inviting me in for spankings and sex, Claire?โ€ he said quietly with a twinkle in his deep brown eyes.

โ€œNo!โ€ she squeaked, โ€œI mean no, I prefer to dream about my spankings at night. โ€ She felt her cheeks redden even more. โ€œI mean, I watch them in movies. Not that I watch a lot of spanking movies. Oh god, I didnโ€™t mean that I watch movies, withโ€ฆ ugh.โ€ She fidgeted with her ponytail.

โ€œWell, if you change your mind, all you have to do is ask.โ€ He smiled and tapped her nose.

***

Here a few pics I really like, hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/chillsner-set-of-2/1042276777?device=c&network=g&matchtype=&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_winebar_&gclid=CjkKEQjw8YSdBRChhPXJvPvMztABEiQAkn893t8IJBxVtH2maf42K9MIjBtuXrPKL1tEkzLt1W-Ftj3w_wcB

Beer chiller from Bed Bath and Beyond. Is it just me, or does that look like a…

 

 

Taken from the old game show “Catch Phrase”. This one is hilarious. Best one ever!

 

 

phallic puppy

hehe, it’s a puppy!

 

 

phallic orange peel

And this one is an orange peel, hehe.

 

accidental-penis-fail-baseball

and this is why I don’t like baseball. too many uniform violations

 

accidental-penis-fail-bike

hehe, someone needs an air pump

*****

Okay, that’s all I have for today. ๐Ÿ™‚

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18 thoughts on “Spank A-Z Challenge, P: Phallic Statements and Pictures

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      I wish I could have found some phallic pantie pictures, Joelle.
      Hehe, three P’s
      ๐Ÿ™‚
      Thanks anyway, I’ll save the panties for next year.
      Ok, that sounded bad
      ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  1. Casey McKay

    You always crack me up!
    Your story in the military reminds me of some roller derby practices, we have one guy ref who also helps coach and he always ends up staying stuff like “Make a hole, and then I’m going to fill it.” Then he has 20 women snickering at him, because we are mature like that. I am not sure why he keeps coming back!

    Reply
  2. Rayanna Jamison

    You hadn’t seen American Pie???!!! My FIL must have thought I reminded him of her. He would always look at me and say “This one time, at Band Camp”. My all time favorite movie is American Wedding.

    The orange peel pic was soooo classic!

    Reply

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